When Pain is Bigger than My Faith

Sometimes the pain is bigger than my faith.

I’ve heard some people say, “You just need more faith.” While they mean well, this would be quite an exercise of futility where the person focuses on himself and his faith.

A few days before Kristina died (our daughter who died of cancer at 12-years-old), my wife and I received a series of  messages from an acquaintance. This acquaintance told us she would come to our house and, because of her great faith (her words), she would lay hands on Kristina and heal her of cancer.

She also added that if she was too late and Kristina had died, she would raise her from the dead. And she said if I didn’t have her come, then my faith was obviously dead.

Needless to say, that acquaintance has been blocked from our social network.

Now I do believe God works miracles. But my faith doesn’t have to be large in order for God to work. (Matthew 17:20) And I don’t need another person who has “great faith” to press the right button and have God suddenly work the miracle we want.

Rather, it’s the object of my faith where size and power count. As the object of my faith is Jesus, the Prince of peace, then my pain is shared between us. And it’s not so bad. (Hebrews 4:15)

So I don’t focus on my faith and how much of it I have. I don’t have to have faith in my faith. That’s futile. Worthless. Foolish. And it only leaves people with more distrust in God who didn’t come through for them when they thought they had enough faith.

But if we focus on Jesus and who He is, we realize His love is bigger. So is His wisdom. And power. There is a rest–a peace that fills my heart when I look at Him. The story He wrote for me doesn’t end with death. And death doesn’t destroy that story.

Nothing can screw up His story for you.

He was in the room with Kristina when she passed away.

He is with me now. And if you believe in Him, He’s with you, too.

Sometimes the pain is bigger than my faith.

But Jesus is always bigger than my pain.

Question: What do you do when your pain seems to trump your faith? Leave a comment below.


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