How to Have Incredible Fellowship in Your Church, part 13

There’s something about having a connection with people of like mind. Loneliness is eliminated. The need for security is met. And significance is felt. What better place for this to happen than within your church?

Yesterday, I posted about Jesus’ 70, 12, 3, 1.

Today, I want to encourage you to find your own. That doesn’t mean you have to find the exact numbers. But you would agree with me that you crave this.

Your 70

Let’s say this represents your church. There should be a level of authentic fellowship within your church. This should be the place where “everybody knows your name.” It should be a place of no masks. But where can people feel free to remove them?

Your 12

This could be your small group or Sunday school class. But for real fellowship to occur, it needs to be less of a program. This group needs to be based on the needs of the individuals, rather than the structure of the program. For example, instead of always going through a book study, try listening to the needs of the individuals involved. Then go to Scripture to meet those needs and spend much time in prayer over those needs. This promotes the atmosphere for real life transformation to occur. A place where people begin to remove their masks.

But what if you need a more appropriate group to reveal who you really are?

Your 3

I believe every person needs his/her 3. Again, this doesn’t have to be exactly 3 people. But a group of 3-5 individuals of the same sex purposed to live life together. Each knows everything about the other. It’s much more than an accountability group. It’s your inner circle of friends who lift you up when you fall–not judge you when you’re down. Perhaps this group can come out of your 12.

Your 1

So if you’re married, this person is your spouse. Single? Should be someone of the same sex.

For the married person, your spouse should know all about you. No secrets. Holding secrets produces more secrets. Soon you’re juggling so many hidden things from your spouse that you’re bound to drop something soon. That’s miserable. Many of you reading this know exactly what I’m talking about.

You can’t share real life–enjoy the fulfillment of marriage–if you’re holding secrets.

If you’re single, you need that best friend. You need someone who knows you well enough to confront you appropriately, encourage you properly, and exhort you consistently. And someone needs you.


Good question! How do you get your 70, 12, 3, 1? The truth is that it won’t come to you naturally.

I’m convinced we are all created for a fellowship of this sort, but we don’t easily find it. It takes two key ingredients to obtain your 70, 1, 3, 1.

1. Prayer. God wants you to experience this fellowship He’s created. Ask Him to show you the way.

2. Pursue. Take initiative. When God places someone on your heart, go to them. Take them to Starbuck’s. Talk. Odds are, this person needs the same thing you do.

You must champion this effort. Your 70, 12, 3, 1 may look much different than mine, or anyone else’s. That’s OK. The issue is to pursue authentic fellowship with other believers. To live life to the fullest by entering the lives of others and loving them there.

It your turn to take the next step.

Do you have a small group of friends with whom you experience real fellowship? Tell us about it! 


Wanna read more on how to have authentic fellowship? Click the pic below to get my book!

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