3 Ways to Love the Unlovable (Valentine’s Day Love Post #4)

He was loud, obnoxious, and seemed to enjoy getting on people’s nerves. This brother was hard to love. In fact, most of us couldn’t stand him. Ever met a person like this? I bet you have. God commands us to love one another, but how do we love the unlovable?

If God’s agape involves the 4 ingredients of all giving, sacrificial, toward people who don’t deserve it, and it takes initiative, then one might think it is impossible to love those unlovable folks in our lives.

It’s easy to love the easy-going, nice, kindly persons. But even Christians can be unlovable. I’m proof! I know I’ve been unlovable at times.

Wanna learn how to love those hard-to-love peeps? Here are 3 ways:

1. Recognize that you’re one of those hard-to-love peeps. Yeah, you read that right. Think of it this way–if all have sinned then all are capable of sinning. Christians are capable of sinning, and that means you and me. At some point, you and I have been unloving to someone. And it is very possible that we could do this again in the future. Remember, we don’t deserve the agape from our Lord, but He gives it anyway. Understand this: our position in Christ is no different than those hard-to-love Christians. This helps us to love them the way God loves us. We’re all in this together.

2. Realize that humans are incapable of expressing God’s agape. 1 John makes it clear that it is not we who love others, but it is the seed within us planted by God. God’s seed, i.e., our new life, does not sin. It is this new life–the new man–that loves. In other words, the Author/Creator of agape is the One who loves the unlovable through us. (Read the Apostle Paul’s comments on this here.)

There have been multiple times when I have had to confess bitterness toward an unloving brother and ask God to agape him through me. I recognize that I cannot agape my unloving brother on my own. Christ does that through me. I must relinquish my selfishness and allow Christ to love through me. And I’m pretty sure others have had to do the same towards me!

3. Remember that pure, unadulterated joy comes from loving one another! It’s true. Our Father fills us with His perfect joy when we love one another. He delights in seeing us lavish in His perfect joy! Following Him in obedience brings that joy.

So the next time you encounter that “unlovable” brother of sister in Christ, just Recognize, Realize, and Remember. Ask God to love those hard-to-love peeps of yours through you. After all, you’re capable of being one of them!


Dare to sacrifice for something bigger than yourself. Read the inspiring novel and move!

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